I had a great Friday night and Saturday. It reminds me having 5-day work is a god blessing thing.

In this quiet season, I could waltz away from office with Sam at 6:15pm. Then we went to a small cafe called 'You & me' at the opposite of our building. We had an hour long chat. I ordered Horlick and Sam asked for a cup of coffee to boost herself up. Then the waiter brought me the coffee and Sam the Holick. I joked that I was elder than Sam and deserved coffee, a drink for adulthood.

This was the great beginning of my weekend life.

Today I had a facial treatment at Clarins, and supposed to have a hair straightening treatment in Espirit, but I cancelled the appointment in the very last moment. The reasons were, 1.I still had not made up my mind if I wanted to have it, 2. it is very expensive, and I should spend money wisely, and 3. need to stay more than five hours in the same place to see how the hair stylist 'iron' bring pain to my ass, and 4. I might not be look great in straight hair. After the cancellation, I felt wonderful and believed myself was a wise girl.

The happiest thing I encountered today was getting a 3D Levis jeans. It is difficult for me to have a suitable jeans because I do not have chopstick-like legs, rather, I have a pair of round thighs. (If you know who Betty Boop is, you could image how my legs look like... but surely Betty Boop pretty exaggerates my case) But guess what? When I got in a causal wear shop and flipped through the racks of jeans column, I found a 3D cutting jeans and loved it in the first sight, then I asked a sales assitant if I could try it on. In the changing room, I pulled the jeans up to my waist, the action was unbelievely seamless and without any inches of fat hindered the way. Oh it perfectly fits! You know what? This was really the first time experience since my adolence period (I got round thighs because I swam a lot in that period, you could see lot of swimmers in Olympic also had this physical characteristic). My heart beated so fast and then rushed out to mirror, and in the reflection, oh my god, the jeans perfectly matched with me, I am a girl-of-3D-jeans.

Now it rest in my wardrobe peacefully, I don't wanna admit it but I just feel so satisfactory. However, on the other hands, I felt boring to shop shop shop and spend spend spend, I mean, I want to spend my time on somethings with is more meaningful. I start to attached negative feeling to shopping after reading the hilarious novel 'The Secret Dreamworld of a Shopaholic', which talked about how Rebecca Bloomwood bought lot of things to made her looked fad but actually she could not afford, and then she faced great problem of bank overdraft, she felt stressful but tried to relief it by - shopping, and then made the financial problem more serious, until....'

Jeff and I then decided to go library tomorrow, a place where I visited every weekend with I was very young. Let see if we could wake up early and be good kids tomorrow.

September 28, 2004 is my first wedding anniversary. When I turned my head and had a review of this year, I just discovered that I had left my parental family and got involved in my husband’s family for a whole year.

At the very beginning, I did not get use to my new status, it seemed that everyone treated me differently, and I missed my mom and dad badly. During the Honeymoon in Banyan Tree, one night I cried heavily because I wanted to go back to my parents. I just wonder if the lavender and sandal scent at the room drove me to release all my emotion.

Then I worked painfully in my previous job, as my ex-boss superstitiously believed married women would never devote in their jobs. It would be alright if I was really what he supposed, but it was so pathetic I was totally in another way. To gain his trust, I worked even harder, but I couldn’t gain the respect I deserved. It was 3 months after I got married.

That’s why I made one of my wisest decisions in my life; I quitted that sick place and stepped on my new career path. In between the jobs Jeff and I went to Japan. It was my first time to Disneyland, we spent great time there.

Gradually, I could not even sense that I have got used to my new life. Now I am also having a new job, when some moment I felt extremely exhausted, I found that my own little family is an anchor for me.

Last Thursday Sam and I got a 20 minutes tarot reading session. The practitioner, Jeff, is a round face young man. Although it was quite expensive, $190 for a session, we still thought it was worth.

Tarot is a deck of 78 cards originated in Northern Italy 500 years ago. The cards contain various symbols deeply rooted in Medieval and Renaissance Europe, many relate to myths or legends. It is a tool of divination and is believed to reveal the hidden reality or psychological thoughts. People always associate tarot with magic, gypsies, spell or witchcraft. As the idea of 'New Age' is growing rapidly in the recent decades, more and more people believe tarot is a effective tool for guidance.

I always have great interest to study the 'supernatual' stuff. Remember that my most favourite course in Anthopology is 'Magic, Myth and Supernatural'. Divination is one of the topics in this course, anthropologists could not prove whether tarot or other fortune telling are 'true', but we assume that they make sense in cultures and fulfill human's psychological needs.

We were excited while having the tarot reading but kept reminding ourselves with skeptical attitude. You know, being market researchers, we should be rational to everything we see and hear. After we had asked questions, Jeff drew out several cards and made interpretation. His interpretation was greatly influenced by the depth of question we provided. For example, Sam asked him several specific questions, he could guess her current situation accurately and then provided her some guidance. However, the questions I asked were very vague, then his interpretation was not that satisfactory. That is why I commented that tarot reader is like psychiatrist, he/she helps you to unwind your inner struggle, and through rationalising the interpretation, you could find your direction in the cloudly situation.

It was a very amazing experience, and I will encourage my friends to have a shot of it. I do not think people who believe tarot reading is superstitious, as long as they do not totally depend on it to make any single decision.

Yesterday was my direct boss, Jelly's birthday. (Surely Jelly is a nick name). I did not know until 5:15pm, whenI came over his office to discuss about fixing up some charts, he then updated a file name and asked me what the date was.

'um.. 21st.' I replied.
'No.' He said
'No?...' I wondered.
Then he cried out 'Today is my birthday!!!'
'Oh so happy birthday!' It was a conditional response, no need to pass through the brain.
'So you better remember that.' He said in a funny voice.

Then today me and another colleague treated him lunch in a Japanese restaurant downstairs. He looked very cheerful, like a Santa Claus (he has all the features of this fairy tale character - round face, little hair on the crown but lot of hair around the chin, full and rosy cheeks, and blue eyes). He promised he would pay us a lunch next time.

Then today afternoon I don't have much work to do, I could even have a drink with my buddies after work and go for the dinner with my hubby and his friends. This is the life I missed in the last 4 months.

I feel very sick this morning, feel dizzy and tired. Luckily now is not the ‘peak season’ of submitting reports, otherwise I will screw up the whole schedule and have to work late.

I've been in this company for more than 4 months. Time past fast and I have already received an oversea training in Indonesia – right; I have been there during the date with bomb blast in front of the Australian Embassy. Jeff told me he had a sixth sense that there would be something happened but not dared to tell me before the trip. He was one of the persons terribly worried me when I was in Indonesia. It was god blessing that I could arrive Hong Kong in complete eventually.

The Indonesia trip should be an unforgettable event in my life. It is the first time I experienced terrorism in such a short distance. Le Meridien, the 5-star hotel I stayed was lovely, tidy and superior, but when we traveled around the city, I could tell the place is totally different; poor, messy transport and polluted air. However, those Indonesian colleague I met are friendly and with sparkling eyes. I believe I have yet seen Indonesia as a whole.

Another major part of the training was to understand the company culture, philosophy and some practical skills for being a market researcher. Some thoughts I agreed but others I totally objected, but it was useless to speak out because the company is not as open-mind as I believed in Day 1. This is still an Asian based company, it embraces the strong traditional and Confucius values.

The precious gift I got from this multi-nation joint function is meeting colleague from other countries or place, like Indonesia, Vietnam, Malaysia, Thailand, Singapore, Guangzhou and Shanghai. Most of them are nice and out-spoken, we spent good time together.

As there was miscommunication in the transport arrangement, in the last day, there was no coach to pick me and other Hong Kong colleague back to airport. Then we hired two ‘silver bird’ taxis in the last minute to airport. When the Cathay Pacific counter appeared in front of my eyes, I felt so peace because I believed that I was safe then, even though it is politically incorrect.

Mom and dad were worrying me a lot also, I heard that mom was sobbing and could not speak when I gave her a call after arrived Hong Kong. I wondered that whether I have joined some TVC programs like ‘Amazing Race’ or ‘Lonely Planet’ to experience an exciting trip and to fight for any intangible gifts.

人對周遭事物的認知是長時間點滴建立而成。我在不同的年紀，對這個世界持著不同的見解。還記得小時候，我心裡藏著無數謬論：
幼稚園時代，我以為：
1. 世界只有兩種民族—「中文人」及「英文人」。「中文人」即中國人，「英文人」泛指「鬼佬」及「鬼婆」。
2. 地鐵車箱內的行車路線是世界地圖，它說明了世界盡頭是「官塘」。(註：當時的地鐵未發展到現在的綜橫交錯，九龍東的總站是官塘。當然，我沒有在藍田站建好後以為地球膨脹了。
3. 當人變老了，他們都是同一個樣-白髮及架眼鏡，不論中文人及英文人也是一樣。
4. 認為巴士上那個老婆婆跟她的朋友在談論我，說我很乖，並且於四月二十匕日生日。我沾沾自喜，裝著沒聽到，自顧靜靜坐著，東張西望，一副對世界充滿好奇及野心的樣子。下車後才告訴媽媽那個我不認識的老婆婆知道我生日日期，我媽想我必是儍了。
5. 行雷門電的坐在窗前看雨，並用我的意志力控制風雨大小，有時念力用得久也要歇一歇。
6. 有個夜晚我見証過天空在數秒內由天黑變天亮。

小一時候，我認為：
1. 我有超能力，例如雙眼能發出紅色閃光把人弄暈……只是未有方法將此能力誘發出來。
2. 媽媽幫我剪的Bob look (冬菇頭)髮型叫「得意妹」裝。長大後才發覺被騙，一點也不得意，及「得意妹」裝不是流行術語，其他同學仔及髮型師皆聽不懂。
3. 英文堂老師教tense (分詞)時，很多字的past tense(過去分詞)只需在present tense (現在分詞)後加「ed」，如play的past tense 是played。我有時不敢將那個「ed」音發出來，因為人的一生能用的「ed」音是有限的，小一時用光，長大後便沒有得用。
4. 我朱唇微張，同時輕咬舌尖是很漂亮。我想我是看過當時明報週刋內模特兒們的大特寫相作為依據。

小六時候，我覺得：
1. 我會終身不嫁，因為我要陪住媽媽。

中二時候，我相信：
1. 我會長得很高，五呎八左右，因為爸爸說我腿很長，身型會跟他一樣高云云，結果不是，爸爸騙我，原來他只找機會讚自己而已。

假如天空想下雨

假如天空想下雨，那麽，我會伏在窗前，靜靜聽著它的細訴。

如果它想灑下微微雨，我會踏著拖鞋，走到花園裡，看水池中魚兒興奮地啄食雨水打在池水上翻起的微生物，或跑到梨花樹旁欣賞她帶雨的雅緻，然後細心感受雨粉落在腳趾上的舒暢。希望天空有我陪著的時候，心情會好一點。

如果它控制不了眼淚，還伴著歇斯的雷暴嚎哭，我但願能待在窗旁，看著它哭，默不昨聲，分擔它的哀愁。若果能找到它的胳膊，我會輕拍它，然後說一聲「一切將會沒事，天晴總會來。」就讓它放心哭好了，它的眼淚可了潤澤大地,它的傷心換化成淚水,再造就世界的奇迹。