Time to count down

Only about one month to go... I can leave here....

In this second half year, I think I work very hard, but I believe I am burnt out...

Yeah... it's time to find a place that fits me...

No more miserable feeling

No more miserable feeling, never have a shadow of regret.

I look forward to have the new chapter of my life. I look forward to have much more cozy time with my babies. I look forward to spend much more precious moment with my family.

I quit. You know what I mean, after all these more than five years.

It is time to make a change. I should clear my mind, reposition myself, to the place I feel much happier.

I look forward for Jan 1, 2010.

An unvulnerable me wanna jump to a comfort zone

Not sure if this nasty job task drives me mad, or I had no more strength to sustain here, I have the thought to leave this nut company.

I spoke to my senior this morning. She asked me to have a second thought. She felt it would be a waste to quit after I spent all these five and a half years here.

She asked if that nasty-and-no-one-is-willing-to-do-but-me work can be fixed one day (which is very unlikely), if I am willing to stay here.

I cannot guarantee, I do not want to give a false hope to everyone.

And back to square one, I still want to spend more time to my babies, if possible.

I ask myself what is my ideal work:
1. Interesting
2. Gain some money
3. Work-life balance, allow me to spend adequate time to my family
4. Can make some contribution to this world

Is there any jobs like this in Hong Kong? Many people say it is impossible, or very rare....

However, I should believe that there is an ideal job out there for me... It is like an ideal man, which is extremely rare but I have one next to me now..

I should force myself to make a decision tomorrow.

Cross my fingers!

The pace is slowing down a bit

Haven't been in a work low season for quite some time. In my past several waves of low seasons, my schedule was filled with my many tedious yet challenging jobs.

At one moment I think I better shut down this blog... Actually it is not necessary to remove it even I do not write anymore, it won't waste blogger much space at all... Just don't know why I had that thought. Anyway, I haven't delete this link and I think I should continue to write... maybe not as frequent as before, but I hope there are still a few of readers would love to read this diary.

Recently I have another weird thought, I want to read many many books... I am craving from words... I am reading three books at the moment - Stub, A year in high heels and Daddy-long-legs.... The former one is my companion during the after work bus trip, the latter two are for my bedtime reading. In every morning, I read two free newspaper - Metro and AM730 in the 1hour 15 minutes in train. I just want to dive into the world of words....

That is why I feel strange, the more I read, the lesser I want to write....

I think what driving me to write again is Judy Abbott, the heroine in Daddy-long-legs.... She had to write letters to her secret sponsor Jervis Pendleton in monthly basis. I feel her joy through her letters to Daddy-long-legs.

I am not feeling well today, I had some sore throat and running nose... I got from the babies.... because I kept kissing their little lips in this weekend.... I just cannot stop myself, they are so cute and beautiful!!!!!

Anything wanna share....

Wow, I haven't visited my blog for almost two months. I was very busy at work, and I wanted to spend more time with my babies. Since I only have around two to three hours staying with my babies every working day, to maximize the utitility of our time, I usually do not to wash up my make up once I reach home, I would only do so when the boys are asleep.

So, you will find that my private time everyday is just around 11:00pm to midnight. Therefore for, if I was exhausted in the daytime, in my precious one hour I usually do something with less brain usage, such as reading fashion magazine, visiting facebook etc...

Anyway, TGI Friday, finally I have some energy tonight.

In these two months, I read some books, had many happy weekends with my family, worked on some challenging jobs, faced and coped with a difficulty with my daddy. We all love you daddy, you take care and we always support you.

When I grow older, I believe more that nothing is more important than family. Love can give you energy and strength to face all obstacles in life. I feel calm and happy in my recent life, at least, I could achieve the balance among all elements in my life in certain extent.

為甚麼地產商總是找洋妞拍洋樓廣告?

這些不就是陶傑常說釣「小農社會的奴性思想麼」?真是崇洋媚外得可笑!
還有,廣告中那些穿金帶銀獸皮(皮草)蓋著人皮的派對情景,我不覺得高尚,只覺得很虛假,很暴發°

I know where you are from….

Okay, after several rounds of back and forth, now I move back to my ‘own’ working cubicle, the seat which I had before my maternity leave three years ago.

Actually it was not my first seat in this office. In the first week, my seat was in the front of the row. Since the one I replaced left in the second week, it was straight forward that I moved to the seat behind.

Mr. Mickey tall occupied this seat first, after he left, Geoffrey took the place. I sit in Jelly’s office for two years, the feeling was pretty isolated because it was far away from my colleague, but thanks god there was MSN and Google talk in this world, I can still sort of link with the outside ‘room’.

After the two years, I was swung out from the room, and relocated at the centre of the office. It was quite a good change. At least geographically, I am more close to my folks.

Now, after these three years, I moved back to this cubicle, the feeling is good!!

Changes

I have been assigned to another team in my work. I think I am the only person practicing “team-rotation” in this company.

It is good to work in a new team, which gives me more exposure, not only in research skills, but also in industries.

However, I have just heard two news will be/ may be happened in Jelly’s team. It would a tremendous structural change, or, most of the things will remain unchanged.

I don’t know. I will only know about the news in June… If the management is effective enough; but it is usually the opposite.

Anyway, now many works pile up in my desk, but I just have no mood to do……

Yesterday I started reading a book called “Letters to Sam”, the book contains letters from a paralyzed grandpa written to his autistic grandson, talking about the beauty of life. I didn’t read the book back cover carefully when I bought it. I have read around 4-5 letters last night, the stories fill with genuine beauty but also tears, they give people good lesson but I think this book is not a good choice as a bed-time reading, at least to me.

I better pick up another book from book-shelf tonight.

512 64

豆腐渣是我們的名勝°

真理,成為我國最稀有的東西°

拜祭親兒被阻撓,母親節也不能慶祝 ,面對手無寸鐵的老百姓,怕得任何事也控制,卻有意無意助大黑領的勢力......

有這樣的政府,想成為超級大國,真是貽笑大方!

Feeling blue

I don’t know why.

Life is supposed to be fine. My families just held birthday parties for me. Everything runs smooth, but I still cannot swipe away the blue feeling, it haunted me for awhile.

I don’t know why I have frustration after waking up these few days; I don’t know why I feel the loneliness.

Sigh…it should be the monthly hormonal changes…..

Revolutionary Road

Finally finishing the reading of this four hundreds something pages novel.

This is a totally heart-broken, beautiful written story.

I thought it was a sad story, but it was a tragedy.

The story uncovered the real world of US suburb families after the Second World War.  Precisely, it uncovered the problems of human-being - our selfishness, the weakness of love, the weakness of family.

Frank and April, the two main characters in the story are suffocated by the peacefulness of daily life.  They tortured each others because they are lost and confused.  Human being is fragile.

What was the problem of suburbanization?  I learnt this concept in geography text-book.  It explains how relatively well-off people moved to the fringe of cities to have a better and more spacious living environment.  Apparently, the real world is more complicated.

A heavy story.

THIRTY-TWO

原來,我下星期一就踏進三張有二的年紀,真不敢相信°  

比較二十二歲的我,現在感覺好得多°現在多了自信和踏實,少了那種莫名的迷惘感°  

還記得十年前剛踏進社會做事,要慢慢地模索做人處事的方法,我感到很吃力°幸好在這麼多年的打滾裏,我獲得點點的歷練,人比以前從容及聰明了點(當然在各方面我還有改善的空間)°

No pain no gain是對的°    

十年前我想起生孩子就害怕,十年後我已做了二子之母°他們成為我的新人生目標,並改變我的人生觀°寶寶們,多謝你帶給我的一切°

圖:二十二歲時拍下的見工相,很傻氣°

Fatina

Daddy bought us Chocolate Rain's Fatina!!! We are Daddy's princesses.

Thank you Daddy, I love this gift very very much.

Upper photo: me with Daddy, Linus and my lovely Fatina

Lower photo: The left one is my sister's Fatina, she dresses like my sister.

Life changing experience

I don’t know why, I want t have some changes in my life.
Precisely, I want to make my life more interesting, to have some new experience, to spread some confetti on my path.
Recently, an idea of learning dance pops up my mind from time to time. I believe learning dance can bring me new inspiration.
When I was helping Chrissie to search for yoga information, I discovered the largest yoga school in Hong Kong providing classes like Bollywood dance, Indian dance, Indo hip hop etc. I do love to join. However, when I was thinking about leaving the babies to Daddy and go dancing, I would miss the three boys terribly, even just two hours in weekend.
Sigh… then I give up this idea. Actually I always cancel my facial treatment booking because I don’t want to leave them, even just several hours.
Sigh… I think I should not think too much, I better stick with Shiva Rea’s yoga DVD and practice yoga at home……

Be a good cook

I remember when I was still Jeff’s girl-friend, he told me one day a husband is a lucky husband if his wife can cook great……

Frankly, I rarely walked into the kitchen except searching for food in refrigerator before 26 years old. My mom is a fantastic mom who can look after the household, make remarkably delicious food, and work full time at the same time. She seldom asked us to help housework. It was because; she wants us to spend time on our study.

At that time, I usually thought, it does not matter I do not know how to cook, as long as I earn enough money to hire someone to do it.

However, when Jeff told me about his thought, I was a bit embarrassed, and a bit frustrated, but I agreed with him wholeheartedly.

Several years later, I became a mother; at that time I did feel that I should know how to cook. Kids with a mom good at cook are very lucky; I want my children to be as lucky as me. Therefore every weekend if I have chance to make meals, I will try my best to do it.
Frankly, I am still at the semi-skilled cook level, but I will learn bit by bit. Being a good cook is one of my goals.

Poladroid picture

I make this by Polaroid software. It is beautiful.

Miss the days that Polaroid was popular.....

I have been a blogger for five years

Now I am stepping in the sixth years of my blogger life. This is the ‘diary’ I keep for the longest so far.

Keeping a diary is great. By reviewing my previous entries, I recall my joyful, miserable, doubtful, hilarious or frustrated moment. I feel I could then understand myself more, and I can ‘witness’ how I am evolving through the years.

Yesterday I made a huge ‘renovation’ for both ‘Manki’s secret diary’ and ‘Manki’s Martix’. I have also added in some gadgets, hope you would love it.

Thanks for my readers who support me over these few years. I am so delighted to share with you all my daily bits and pieces with you, hope you feel they are interesting.

Bunny Chocolate Muffins

Wow, I made the six bunny chocolate muffins on Saturday afternoon. I was very proud of myself. My family said they tasted very good, and looked so cute.

I bought the bunny mould in City Super (HK$90, as I remember). Muffin ingredients include self-raising flour, caster sugar, light cream, salt, eggs, chocolate, cocoa powder and unsalted butter. The preparation time was around 30 minutes, cooking time was 25 minutes.

I am planning to make bunny muffins during the coming Easter Holiday!

Shed the weight

After two weeks of regular work out, I can shed the fat from my body effectively.

I do exercises about 4-5 days a week, include:

Jogging
Yoga
Aerobic
Hiking
Tennis

Work out also brings me energy and strengths, I should keep this habit.

想哭

今天朗朗八時多起床,看見我咪咪地笑°只可惜我要上班了,只跟他一個擁抱°

他顯得很失落,然後跟我說:「媽媽我很悶的啊!」他想我留下來°

我的心立刻碎了,加上工作遇到點點的不如意,很想大哭一場°

The true beauty

Hong Kong is stepping into a humid warm spring. I want to run into the country side, to breathe the moist air, to hear the birds singing, to embrace the true beauty. I

I imagine myself sitting under a big tree, reading an interesting book, and then take a nap with my babies.

我的護膚好友

看這些是我的皮膚及頭髮合作伙伴,有了它們,我的皮膚才算還可以°我愛用的牌子包括Clarins, PATYKA(有機成份製成), Kiehl's.

其中Huni是我的新寵,它是澳洲蜜糖品牌Comvita生產的護膚品°Huni是我的熱烈推介°這系列含有Manuka蜜糖成份,不含防腐劑,我用了一個月,皮膚變得有生氣°

天然的東西真是好°

我的好鞋子

上星期經過Catalogue,見到店內這對公雞鞋,原本想買Ballerina flat 的我變了主意 ,乖乖的付錢買了它°它真的很可愛啊!

Omigod!!!

Just discovered my waist has reached 26", it is totally unacceptable. I will escalate the exercise plan, starting from tomorrow.

My plan is, going back to 24" in 4 weeks. This is Jeff's fault, he said I was getting skinner after the food poisoning + cold in Jan to early Feb, he then stored up my favourite snacks and I had a little bit before sleep, almost every night.

Set my plan and stick with it.

This is what we call RESPECT

I was planning to talk about my favorite stuff right after the previous entry, but base on what I read today, I think my “little closet” passage has to give way first.

I find people used to tease or even insult those who do not match the “secular” beauty standard. When people use others’ outlook and body as a joke, can they think about that person has done nothing wrong? Being less attractive is not a sin!!
******
When I browsed the facebook last evening, I found one girl in my friend list (actually I do not barely know her) left a comment to a photo of her friend, there were a bride, groom, and bride maids, in a wedding banquet.

Her comment is “I haven’t seen such scene; I think the bride had no confidence at all”. Then when I looked at the photo, I understood what she said. Those bride maids in the photos were not typical beauties, two were in big size. There were also many other comments from her friends. The photo was post by a visitor of the wedding.

For those comments were even more disrespectful, they joked this was an “extraordinary view”, “horrific”, etc. I don’t know the bride and groom, but I felt angry at that moment. The bride and groom invited visitors to share the most unforgettable and happiest moment with the closest relatives and friends, they deserve to receive blessing, instead of insult!!

And to my dear friend in the facebook, I feel sorry we graduated from the same secondary school.

This is a matter of respect!!

Little things in daily life

Don’t know why, my ideas about blogging seem drying out. I guess it is because I feel happy with my life, and have much less grumbling and babbling I want to force my reader to listen to, or I think it is not worth to waste time to repeat something I am irritated to in written format.

On top of this, every day after work, I spent all of my time with my two adorable angels (or I should say when I go online, they are happy to join me and even take lead of what they would like to watch in the internet, which leave me only a few minutes to stay in front of the computer alone to check facebook or email).

However, I think it would be a good idea if I can share some little interesting things I find/ I experience in my diary life here on and off. I would post photos of something which I think interesting and post here.

I do something similar in facebook, currently I created an album called “My little closet”. It would be great to set up a “My little closet” here with detailed narrations. Hope you will love it too!

Let’s start from the next entry!!

Be my Valentine

This is the Valentine's Day gift I sent to Jeff this year, it is a handicraft by Margit Denz, an Austrian artist. She had made millions of Denz hearts in past few years, which exhibited and sold across many countries. The one you saw in this picture is one of the Valentine's day series she made this year.

Seems Jeff loves this gift a lot. hehe...

Good health

Mom in law was in hospital early this week, thanks god she is fine now and we are all relieved.

This experience made me re-think the meaning of family. Sometimes we take people around us for granted, especially our parents. They treated us so good and we assumed their love is unlimited, just like air around us, we get too used to it.

Especially in our age, we would rather spend much time on work and on social life (I was also like this before I got married). Family is always in a lower priority. It is because, we believe, our mom and dad will always greet us when we open the door of our home….

When I heard the news that Mom in law was sent to the hospital, I was totally shocked, there were too many uncertainties, tears rolled on my face immediately. Thanks god that Mom was totally fine since the afternoon of the same day and discharged from the hospital on Wednesday. God did listen to our prayer.

Life is very fragile but at the same time it can be very tough and strong. Mom in law is a very strong and positive person.

I want to send my blessing to my parents in law and also my parents. I wish you all enjoy every minute of your life, we would be good kids and love you more and more day after day.

Manki is recovering

After the two weeks torture, I am now recovering, despite the endless cough and sweating which still happen every night.

Now I understand why good health is mostly important, you cannot do anything without a healthy body.

I took many days of sick leave in last two weeks. I lied on my bed, was worried about my jobs, then the two babies went sick also, then was worried about everything...

I want to stop all these, I do not want to take sick leave again. In all these years I did not really know how to take care of myself. I still do not believe those craps about "my body is a temple blah blah blah", but I should build up myself again.

Good diet and regular exercise are my goals!

Sickness, please leave me alone

Gone the food poisoning, come the sore throat....

I was almost passed out in the MTR yesterday when I commuted back to work.... I was not able to breathe in the cabin and keeping my head down, I sweat a lot and could not stand firm. Luckily there was a seat when the train reached Quarry Bay and then I sat there and breathed heavily.

Other passengers just stared at me and no one offered help. Well this was normal as here is Hong Kong.

I take another leave today, I promise to myself, I should be healthy and work hard next week!!!

sEA uRCHIN aND fOOD pOISONINg

I was wondering if my stomach can function normally again....
I was wondering if my non-stop high fever will make me blind or deaf... or even mentally retarded...
I was wondering how come there is water in front of my eyes until Jeff grabbed me out from the toilet bowl when I had my last vomit...

Yes, I had food poisoning, I swear that problemed restaurant, which almost took my life.... I had two adorable babies and a handsome hubby, I can't leave them alone...

And, I should listen to my doctor's advice, never touch raw food again...

Thanks god, after four days, I am still alive, just losing many pound and my chest downgraded one cup size. Wakakakkaka.

Moleskine Notebook

I am using Moleskine date book this year. Thanks to the economic downturn and our most important bank client had no longer sent us free organizers with their logo.

Anyway, the Moleskine date book I am using is so far so good. I am using the weekly planner type because I can jot down my job list everyday there. There is a also blank page next to the weekly planner for me to write silly things.

There are some more uniqueness of this organizer :

• Historical background – Many greatest people, such as Picasso and Van Gogh were using Moleskine. I hope my name would be added in this "lengendary user list".
• Good quality - Not sure if man-made = good quality (many things made in China are by hands, but in extremely bad quality, even fake), but my note book is pretty good. The paper is smooth and I love its yellowish, rustic tone.
• Good looking - I love its stylish black leather-like cover, it is also slim, as a whole year weekly datebook plus many pages of basic information such as time zones", "international holiday" etc., and extra pages for notes and annual planning.
• The first page - it is the most interesting page, it states:"In case of loss, please return to:__________ As a reward: $__________ (of course I have not filled in this page).

Okay, this organizer cost HK198, it is quite worth for value, as you can use it 365 days. Isn't it?

Make new friends

We met Auntie Betty and her children last Saturday in a morning “Yum Cha”. Her three children are in the school winter break, they came to Hong Kong from Canada to have a reunion with their mom.
They are one young woman and two young men in their middle to late twenty. This is the last school year to all from them, the boys are studying economics, and the girl is a Phd student of Nerve science. Cool!!

Jeff and I went out with them at late night for drinks in Knutford Terrace. We chatted a lot. They are quite different with people I meet everyday. They are very cheerful, sincere and appreciative, less criticizing, and take all the chances to learn and to experience humbly. The girl kept saying she respects Hongkongeses a lot as we work very hard, even she experiences cultural shock here (for example, people just stand very close with each other when they line up, and rush everywhere), she still think Hong Kong is an amazing and dynamic place.

The greatest discovery that night is I found three discovery channel freaks who speak the same language of mine. That was a very great night. I would love to visit Canada one day!

Blogging in MTR

Guess what? I am typing this entry in the MTR, which actually hurts my sore long sighted eye when tabbing the mini size keyboard, but it is really fun.

Next time if you find a dumb girl burying her head to her handy it may be me wakaka.

The pudding old couple

Jeff and I went to Central last Friday, we took a day leave after the New Year day.

There were the very very old couple selling pudding around the street corner. It was a cold day but they still worked very hard, they made every single coin by their bare hands. When there was no customers, they just stood still there, around 20 minutes, the old gentleman walked aside and sat on the staircase. He returned once there were more people buying the puddings.

I bought a pudding from them, I wanted to say happy new year to them, but I gave up, because I felt old people don't like receiving greeting from a stranger on the street.

Anyway, I want to say happy new year and salute to you two here! Wish you guys having great business. By the way, your stroller looks fab.

I had made cookies

They look and taste delicious, the hand in this picture is Lucas's! He is such a lucky boy, wakakakakakakakak!!!

Happy New Year!! Wish your 2009 as sweet as cookies!!