There is an emptiness in my heart.

Throughout the on-job training, I figure out my deficiency. I do not even know the basic knowledge of marketing, how could I excel in market research industry? I only have vague idea of some marketing terms, therefore it will be a turmoil if I get an opportunity to work on further sophisticated tasks.

Jargons could only be applied in specific context. When I study Anthropology, I found those geographic terms are no longer applicable in this subject, a same word may even has various meaning, while I am writing a market research proposal, my brain becomes totally BLANK!! No words could describe what I am thinking.

Sometimes I have difficulties in writing. I wonder if I am really gifted in languages and writing. My writing skill will be degraded if I stopped reading, and my brain will eat up all my vocabulary if I did not use those words for a certain period of time. But, come on, writing ability is something that you develop gradually, and it is constructed by every piece of reading you learnt , instead of putting some words in your short term memory and then wiped away when new knowledge get into the brain. But now my head is spinning, mom always said what you learn will belong to you forever, how come my mind got stuck??

I do not satisfy with my English proficiency, now I even seem an illiterate of Chinese because I seldom use it. So what on earth the person will I become? A poor little thing who is wandering in the tiny crack between two languages?

Anyway, as a layman, I should grasp some marketing text books immediately and start learning.

Christmas is coming!!
Time is slipping out, last Christmas seems left me just awhile, the new christmas is coming. Remember that in last December I saw the film 'Love Actually', there were several lovely stories knitted together . Each story talked about affection, such as love between lovers, between friends, between father and son, between family, and fantasy (remember that freaky Collin took an adventure in Winconsin for sexy American sweethearts?). I like this movie so much, it soaked me in gingerbread sweet smell.

In this Christmas I look forward to see 'Bridget Jones's Diary - The Edge of Reason'. I read the book several years ago, right after 'Bridget Jones's Diary'. Jones is a representative of a very popular social status in UK - 30 somethings female singleton. Her diary diets, lousy working life, messy affair and non-stopping weight growth made you burst into a laugh. But guess what? She is not a loser, she is very attractive and people love her because of her real self.

To indulge myself in seasoning joyfulness, I bought myself a bottle of ginger scent shampoo and a pot of green apple scent creamy hair treatment in Origins. My hair is shiny and smells great (but it is still too much and too dark, like black ink spread on a piece of velvet cloth, technically speaking, my hair is like a black hat for Eskimo.... well I am just exaggerated, time is too late, I started to dream and murmur when writing this paragraph.......

昨天在明報讀到一篇有關於人類學的文章，受訪學者是我很敬重的Joseph Bosco。以下文章錄至明報11月24日：

人類學讓人明白世界運作
【 明 報 專 訊 】 從 事 人 類 學 研 究 逾 25 年 的 中 文 大 學 人 類 學 系 副 教 授 林 舟 （ Joseph Bosco ） 說 ﹕ 「 現 代 人 不 能 只 有 一 種 技 能 ， 終 身 為 一 個 僱 主 、 一 間 公 司 辦 事 ﹔ 這 樣 看 待 事 業 已 過 時 。 」 他 補 充 ， 若 認 為 傳 授 學 生 某 種 技 能 就 是 教 育 ， 這 亦 是 過 時 的 想 法 。
「 人 類 學 重 要 的 地 方 ， 在 於 它 讓 人 明 白 世 界 如 何 運 作 。 」 他 解 釋 ， 無 論 是 政 治 、 宗 教 或 市 場 推 廣 ， 都 是 形 成 社 會 文 化 的 力 量 。 他 以 市 場 推 廣 為 例 ， 行 內 人 必 須 先 明 白 大 眾 的 喜 好 ， 再 利 用 推 廣 活 動 或 廣 告 投 其 所 好 ， 方 能 提 高 大 眾 對 產 品 的 興 趣 。 「 很 多 人 認 為 市 場 推 廣 只 是 商 業 活 動 ， 其 實 ， 它 與 人 類 學 和 社 會 文 化 息 息 相 關 。 」
林 表 示 初 期 的 人 類 學 主 要 研 究 偏 遠 社 會 ， 探 討 其 他 地 方 的 文 化 特 色 ， 後 來 才 演 變 為 對 文 化 的 研 究 。 「 但 它 與 文 化 研 究 不 同 ， 文 化 研 究 通 常 透 過 文 本 如 電 影 及 小 說 去 分 析 ﹔ 人 類 學 則 藉  直 接 與 人 溝 通 去 做 研 究 。 可 以 說 兩 者 研 究 內 容 相 近 ， 但 研 究 方 法 不 同 。 」 人 類 學 家 相 信 ， 在 運 用 統 計 及 數 字 分 析 前 ， 應 先 跟 對 象 面 對 面 交 流 ， 從 他 們 的 角 度 出 發 去 理 解 問 題 ， 才 能 對 社 會 有 基 本 了 解 。
聽 似 廣 大 精 深 ， 但 人 類 學 絕 不 空 泛 。 「 我 與 太 太 在 台 灣 時 ， 很 多 台 灣 人 問 我 ﹕ 『 你 的 家 人 在 哪 裏 ﹖ 』 起 初 我 覺 得 很 奇 怪 ， 因 為 對 我 來 說 ， 太 太 和 我 就 是 一 家 人 ， 但 台 灣 人 對 家 庭 的 定 義 包 括 父 母 和 兄 弟 姊 妹 。 由 此 可 見 不 同 地 方 的 人 對 世 界 的 看 法 都 不 同 。 」
出 路 廣 泛 可 文 可 商
「 很 多 畢 業 生 告 訴 我 ， 人 類 學 的 根 基 對 他 們 了 解 辦 公 室 發 生 的 事 情 很 有 幫 助 。 每 個 辦 公 室 都 有 不 同 的 文 化 ， 市 場 推 廣 部 跟 工 程 部 就 是 兩 個 世 界 ， 都 很 難 明 白 對 方 的 運 作 。 人 類 學 畢 業 生 懂 得 明 白 他 人 的 角 度 ， 幫 助 同 事 化 解 矛 盾 。 」 林 謂 人 類 學 畢 業 生 的 出 路 很 廣 泛 ， 除 博 物 館 和 教 學 外 ， 很 多 人 都 從 事 市 場 推 廣 、 商 業 及 公 關 工 作 ， 他 相 信 這 與 學 生 的 人 際 溝 通 技 巧 及 觸 覺 敏 教銳 有 關 。
隨  「 三 三 四 」 學 制 改 革 將 通 識 教 育 列 為 必 修 科 ， 林 相 信 ， 愈 來 愈 多 人 會 明 白 ， 教 育 不 只 是 為 了 畢 業 後 找 份 工 作 。 他 認 為 ， 這 項 改 革 亦 會 間 接 讓 人 更 明 白 人 類 學 的 好 處 。

還記得初時堅决辭工修讀人類學碩士課程，很多人認為我太衝動，或只是捱不住工作煎敖，被家人寵壞而躲到象牙塔避世，或是人生沒有目標，胡亂是找書讀。曾聽過人前人後的冷言冷語或"忠告"，但令我最窩心的事我的家人及幾位朋友很支持，亦很明白我的理念。我决定選讀該學科是要學習觀察世界及促進自我成長。或許這碩士學銜對找工作幫助不大，但昇華自己的世界觀，拓濶自已的眼界是不是因為沒有可計算的市場價值就一文不值？

教育不是只為找工作，莘莘學子所需要的遠於職業先修的培訓。

I lost my cosmetic bag!!

I lost my most favorite Blythe cosmetic bag; it contained one orange pink lip stick, one pearly pink lip gloss, one box of lovely orange blush, one tube of lip balm, one pack of oil blotter and a brush. There are now ALL GONE.

I like this Blythe cosmetic bag very much, the mixed cute and evil looked Blythe smiled innocently in the front side of this cosmetic bag, with a hairy yellow bird at her right hand side. There were lots of yellowish little flowers settled at another side. I bought it from JC shop a year ago. But now it ESCAPED from me. It is so rebellious!!

I am adopting 5 little Blythe: Golden chicken B, Sweetie tartan B, Pinky mermaid B, Icy B and Stylish artist B. They are quiet (never talk) and obedient so far, but I know they are little devils implicitly.

You may feel scary because you have no idea what I am talking about; it seems that I had crushed my brain. Alright, the 5 little Blythe are five tiny dolls I have. Blythe is a weird look doll with extraordinary big head and big eyes. She is a totem of modern beauty, which is a sort of anti-traditional beauty and an acceptance of weird, freaky outlook. The non-proportional body is adding the attractiveness of her.

Coincidently, I am also having a non-proportional big head, but someone tells me only clever people get big brain. How can people have big brain if they do not have a spacious skull to hold it, right?
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P.S. As I know Cathy will read my diary, I want to leave a message for her: Don’t worry too much about the job!! Relax and you shall overcome!!!

Our life is rushing.

We rush to go for work everyday, We rush to have a breakfast right before the computer, rush to attend meeting and presentation, rush to have lunch, rush to meet deadline, rush to meet friends, rush to have dinner, rush to sleep and then rush to wake up after the alarm clock has already rung at the third time.

People rush for detoxifying, rush for anti-aging, rush to crush into somebody else, rush into dating, rush into marriage, rush to bear kids, rush to be successful and famous.

I don't know why people say 'when you are suffocating yourself, you should let yourself breathe', it is an absolute fallacy, but the meaning in between thi sentence is allowing yourself to release and take time. However, we always feel that our life is too short and no idle time could be squeezed.

Okay, I should rush to go bed, should rush to finish the work on time tomorrow.

Last Friday Jeff and I went back my parental family and had a nice dinner. Dad's computer got some problem so Jeff helped him to fix. I asked Mom to go shopping with me then two of us had some chance for 'girls' talk'.

We shopped in Nice Claup, Mom said those trendiest cape looked fab, she asked me to buy one. Wow, what a stylish Mom. Then we went to Joy & Peace, she gave me lots of comment for choosing shoes and boots, I wanted to give her a great treat and buy her a pair of nice heels, but she said she had enough heels and seldom had chance to wear.

I want to tell you something about my Mom. She is a workaholic, a incredible time keeper and a rigid supervisor. She always ordered me, MeiKi and Dad what should do and what should eat and where should go. Sometimes we asked her to let us alone, but it is undenible that she always makes everything in right place and in details. Her food is excellent, and she keeps the home shiny clean. My mom is also great at tailoring clothes, she helps MeiKi to make dancing costume, and she makes clothes for me, which is amazing.

I couldn't agree more than Mom is a strong woman, she is also a happy lady. What she strives for is stability but not prosperity, therefore she never has hunger on brand clothes, LV bags and precious jewellery. I wondered if she had achieved the self-acutalization because she figured out the geunine happiness.

Go back to our girls' talk conversation. My mom asked if we could move out from my parent-in-law house if Jeff and I would have baby. I could make to assumption here: 1. Mom wants to have grand-children, 2. She simply want to know where we want to build our own little nest. I told mom we wished to leave the place we were living, just depends when it would be the right time, and not yet confirmed the place.

I guess Jeff and I are about to take a step into the new stage of life!

I am sick, I am hiding in my room, alone.
I caught a cold, I am not sure who transmitted it to me, or I generated it by myself, because I skipped several dinners last week. What I worry is if I had transmitted the disease to two babies I played with over the weekend.

My left ear feels funny, it is itching, maybe my respiratory system plus ear also get infected. I do not feel satisfactory with some parts of my body, one part is my pair of ears. I love them because they are so small, they are not good looking but at least look delicated, but I just wonder whether my ears will deteroiate rapidly simply because they are too small, and I could not listen to the world very soon?

Last weekend I was very busy, I attended a cake baking and pottery class on Friday night, then I notice that I am handicapped in cooking. 'Cooked' in my dictionary means whatever relating to food preparing, including making coffee and mixing cocktails, not to mention creating a dish. However, I should change this situation, because my husband said an attractive woman could make several good dishes. Pottery is something I like, I made a mug for Jeff, it is his birthday present. I hope I will keep learning pottery.

Then Saturday, I went to Kimmy's (my boss's) home, we did have fun. Doris's 6-month baby girl was extremely lovely, she had curled hair and 'chinese eyes', I took lot of photos with her.

Then Saturday evening, I saw a drama performance with Sam, the show was about gay people. Wow, it was breathtaking.

I felt so sleepy, take a nap and then go to see doctor. Then I should work on the proposal today.