1997年

同學仔在面書組織了名為忽爾十五載的寫作計劃，寫的是由1997﹣2002這15年間的人和事。
我選了1997年，這年對香港和我都意義重大。以下是我的文章：

1997年6月30日深夜，我抱著膝，坐在沙發，從電視看著香港回歸交接儀式。當晚下著滂沱大雨，令這歷史時刻更顯沉重。窗外淅瀝聲敲到我的心裏。

我當晚離家出走。跟父母閙翻了，他們認為求學時期不能拍拖。你叫我如何認同？畢竟我已是踏進雙十年華，有自己思想的成年人了！在很多國家，像我那年紀的女孩，已育有三個孩子也說不定。在過去半年，就因為這事跟他們磨擦，那一晚，不知何事，大家都過了臨界線。

我躲到男友家。看著電視，眼淚不自覺流下來。電視傳來《God Save The Queen》的壯麗音樂。英國國旗及香港殖民地旗幟在風雨飄搖中徐徐下降。一個多麼煽情的畫面！

這是我人生第一次如此反對父母。與其說是為了戀愛而離家出走，不如說是為了爭取戀愛的自由。他們認為沒有人比他們更愛自己的女兒，老是擔心女兒被男孩子傷害，變得無心向學。我沒有跟他們說，其實這些我老早經歷過，也熬過了。It was not a big deal at all！

其實，二十歲還弄到要離家出走，真的有點好笑。

電視中，洪亮的《義勇軍進行曲》奏起來，紅色的五星旗和香港特區區旗爬昇著。我們這一代，成長於彌漫著末世風情的年代：1984年中英聯合聲明，信心危機，移民潮，太空人，歌照跑，舞照跳，繁榮與安定，五十年不變，還有……笑聲救地球，還有……那用血寫在中國近代史上的六四事件。從兒時起，這些詞彙陪著我們成長，不斷衝擊我們的思想。終於到了政權移交的一刻，我感到的只是惆悵與茫然。我們這一代的大學生，遠不及火紅年代的那些天子門生，總是被批評為政治冷感，只顧享樂。 就像我，在這重要時刻，我為香港做到甚麼？我又能為香港做些甚麼？

還是為自己的兒女私情煩惱好了。

沒有興趣聽完江澤民的偉大講話，也哭得太倦，不知不覺睡著了。

第二天六時醒來，還感到臉上的淚痕的崩緊，天還下著昨晚那場雨。我很擔心爸媽，便跟男友說回家。六時三十分，他陪我到樓下，截了的士。男友看起來也很擔心，關上車門前，我應承他去爭取父母接納我們。車三十分鐘後到埗。雖然有傘子，但我跑回家那幾步路，還是濕透。 回到家，兩位怒火中燒的老人家果然已起床，在客廳等著我大興問罪。我見到他們完全沒有精神疲憊的跡象，心安定一些。至少，他們沒有傷心得崩潰。我穿越那此起彼落的雙聲道責駡，跑到房，關上門，倒頭大睡去。

之後劇情有點兒土。我當天淋雨後得了感冒，媽媽邊駡邊照顧我。病好後，我採取主動言和，雙方成功返回談判桌。兩代人重新對話時，電視重播著彭定康一家及查理斯王子踏上The Royal Yacht Britannia, 與香港人道別的一刻。彭定康看來很傷感，他那三位俏麗千金更哭成淚人。

爸跟我解釋他們的擔憂，我向他解釋我的堅持。最後雙方達成協議，我保証不會荒廢學業，兩年後如期畢業。（老實說， 讀文學院的，三年內畢不到業比畢到業難得多）， 他應承不再干涉我拍拖。是次對話史無前例的成功。一星期後，爸替我出了人生第一部手提電話，好讓我夜歸前跟他們交帶一聲。我跟朋友笑說老爸這招真高，現正可以查著我行踪了！當然，我心裏很甜，也知道是父母是信任我的。

若干年後，我跟那小男友結婚了。

婚禮前，爸爸問我：「當年我們阻止你跟小丸子拍拖，你還有怪我們嗎？」

「那會？」我答。「你們只是緊張我！所有爸爸跟寶貝女兒的男友都是天生的敵人罷。但你可放心，我會好好的！」

然後，我們一起微笑。

Bad mood

I am in a total bad mood today.

I couldn't sleep last night.  I had my first 'living-room-sleep over' from 4am to 6am.

And then I feel like I am a walking death.

Thanks to the lack of rest, I am annoyed easily today.

I used to hate the vacuum cleaner in my home.  It is extremely noisy (with its selling point was 'silent', stated on the packaging.).  Today, I want to smash it.

Ah!!!  Hopefully I can have a good sleep tonight, I NEED TO WORK TOMORROW, YOU KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mars and Venus

I read a book called 'Baby on the way' to my two boys.


Don't get me wrong, I have NO baby on the way.  I just thought this book was fun.


The story is about a typical family with two children, an expected mommy and a daddy.  Mommy's belly was growing day by day also the love around them.  One day, mommy's tummy got as hard as a ball caused by contraction, dad sent mom to hospital.  At last, an angelic baby came out, the whole family was busy yet joyful.


I gave them a brief explanation about the laboring and delivery of a baby.  I told them the tremendous pain that I had experienced during the process.


'That's why, you should respect women, for the role they play in the mankind.'  I said.


The boys nodded, I'm sure they know what I mean.


When I was a teenage, I was a believer of feminism.  I dreamed I would be a career woman one day (and if anyone from the opposite gender who tried to hinder my career path as I was a woman, I would have inserted my high heels into his eye sockets), marriage and kid free, and burning bras (if it was really necessary to make a dramatic effect).  Of course, all these were just my silly imaginations.  Bras, in fact, are expensive! 


When I reached twenties, I started being skeptical to feminism, I doubt the idea of 'women don't need men', women need men as men need women, we are all living together in a group, socially and biologically.  Women can be as smart as men without sacrificing their femininity, men can also be gentle at the same time embracing their masculinity.  Since then, I looked for gender equality, I looked for mutual respect between men and women.


Being a mother, I have an obligation to educate my kids about this.

I wanna burn all ipads in my vicinity!!

I know ipads are fascinating, but I just hate to see kids who deal with the daily life nonchalantly but sticking their noses to the an illuminating screen.

This is what my son is doing, but I have no ability to stop it, not because I am sheepish, but I am not the 'in-charge' person in this house at this moment.

 Damn!!

Worker Bee

Haven't post blogs related to working for a long time .  When I reviewed the entries I labelled as 'working bee' (or should it be worker bee? Whatever), there were non stop babbling and grumbling.  I wonder if I was 'Little Miss Grumpy' at that time.


Alright, starting the Year of the Dragon, I have received several job requests this week.  This should be a good sign.  I do enjoy this full-time mom-and-freelancer-marketing/ research-professional mode so much. If possible, I don't want to work in a full time job anymore even my kids grown up.  Once you experience the flexibility to work independently, you just don't want to go back, to beg for the appreciations from the bosses, who thinks they pay you is an act of charity.


Cross my fingers.

家教

今午我在家工作後有點疲倦，便打算到後山走走。哥哥，弟弟及感冒了的謝菲也在家。我問誰陪我去行山，三位宅男不約而同地說沒興趣。
「那我自己去吧！」我說。
哥哥和弟弟邊吃著我做的cupcake，邊說我一個女孩（？！）不要獨自出去云云。我說我會很快回來。
哥哥嚴厲地說：「總之你不能去！」
我：「為甚麼？」
哥：「因為。。可能會有山火。」
當然，邏輯上他沒有錯，正如有個人造衛星突然失靈，穿過大氣層，砸到我頭上的事也可能發生。
我：「我會小心的。」
哥：「你到山上也可能遇到蛇啊！很危險的，總之不要去。」
謝菲開腔：「但是現在是冬天，蛇應該冬眠去了。」
哥：「但總有可能有一條蛇太肚餓，醒來找食物，到時媽咪便危險啦！」
我：「我真的會小心，不用擔心。」說罷便穿上褸和運動鞋。
當我站起來，哥哥鎖上門並攔著它。
哥：「我不准你出去！」
弟不耐煩，向哥說：「唉呀，你就讓她去吧！」
哥：「不可以，外面有蛇，你知道嗎！」
我穿上一身街坊裝，不施粉末，準備行山，但感覺像一個化了濃妝，一身戰鬥格衣著，跟爸爸對著幹，誓要去disco的十六歲女子。
謝菲幫忙說：「哥！不要玩門了，讓媽媽出去！」
哥無奈讓路，但我關門時，他仍跟爸爸理論蛇有可能出現的機會率。
＊＊＊＊＊＊
小時候，我家爸媽對我管教很嚴，真想不到長大後，我家的管教。。更嚴！

新春花花

每到農曆新年，我就放滿一屋鮮花。今年，除了水仙，桃花，我還選了跳舞蘭。

跳舞蘭花如其名，就像一雙雙的黃色的芭蕾舞鞋，在空中擺出各種妙曼的舞步，盼顧生姿。我最愛用白色的花瓶盛載跳舞蘭，映襯出那份獨特的淘氣和嬌美。