Bonjour!

Tu as bien?

I have done a quick calculation - in the past few years, I have spent around 300 hours on French learning, not very much time, but definitely not a short period.  Awkwardly, I have had never put a foot onto the soil of L'Hexagon.

Yesterday, an advertisement of three 2-week French immersion trips popped up in my email.  It was so tempting!!  Acceptable fee, reasonable school time, host family staying and captivating sight-seeing sum up a perfect gateway at the perfect right time timing (during the kids' summer holiday, a good escape from heavy parenting duty), but how can I put all burdens to my beloved hubby's shoulders, in terms of financial support and child caring?  In Chinese, we describe this as "無義氣"!

And the most important is, I want to sail along La Seine with you, my hubby!

Hopefully, there will be one day... hopefully.

Time to make a change again?

Counting my fingers, this is the fourth year I work as a mom full time.

You are correct.  My big one is already 8, I should be a mom much longer than that.  I mean I had dedicated to stay full time at home since 2010.  In the last four years, I worked as a part time/ freelance market researcher, and occasionally on some other jobs, like marketing, blogging, even as awkward as 'name-giving' to a company.

Anyway, my little one will study primary 1 in coming September.  I am wondering if I should join the workforce again, full time.

It is not an easy decision.  First, I am not sure if my little one can handle the primary 1 well.  Should I just stand by?  Second, there are so many ad hoc events every week, not to mention all those after school classes I should send them back and forth.  Third, working full-time means I should compromise my flexibility now.  I don't want to skip or even quit my piano and French classes.

Sigh! Let see.

C'est la vie

小時候，我爸的書架裏有一本育兒書。有天百無聊賴，我取了來讀。當時還是一至二年級，很多字也不會讀，但令我印象很深刻，是書中介紹一個獎勵計劃的禮物表。表中在「默書100分」旁畫有一杯軟雪糕。後來，當爸爸真的實行讀書獎勵計劃，我得戚地說我知他從那裏學來這小把戲。

好了，到我成為家長，也走到書局物色育兒書。近來這類題材的書發展蓬勃，選擇之多令人花多眼亂，但未必適合每一個人。例如英國有一知名的育兒專家認為幼童必須在晚上七時入睡，這在香港沒有幾多個家庭可以實現。又例如我讀過另一本以心理學為本的育兒書，教導家長替嬰兒換片時，就算聞臭味也不要皺眉頭，因為這會影響孩子的自專心，我就覺得有點過了火。

讀過這麼多育兒書，有一本我很喜歡，也給我很多啓發，就是French Children Don’t Throw Food。這本書的作者Pamela Druckerman是一位美國人，與英國人丈夫與三名孩子居於法國，每天受著文化衝擊的她，發現法國人育兒方式與英美很不同。她覺得法國孩子看起來總是很有教養，不喧鬧。這與法國人從容的處事方式有關。”C’est la vie!” （”That’s life!"）是他們的生活態度。例如，法國媽媽不會迫孩子吃東西，反而鼓勵孩子嘗試不同口味。當他們不喜歡某種食物，她們不會勉強，待下一次再嘗試。媽媽著重的，是教孩子享受食物，而不是無止境的角力。

在法國家庭，大人也愛錫孩子，但不會視孩子為中心，相反，他們會要求孩子去適應大人的生活。他們會定下規條讓孩子遵守，要求孩子學懂尊重身邊的人，換過來大人也會信任孩子，很多事會給他們做決定，不會過份保護。這跟英美甚至是華人社會不同，我們常將孩子放在中心，爸媽一定要以孩子為先等。當然，我們不能說那一種方法較好，但我相信法國育兒文化會讓你有所領悟。

法國媽媽無論多忙也給自己私人時間，好好打扮一番，在街上你會見到拉著寶寶們的媽媽總是打扮得很時尚，很亮麗！所以，香港爸媽們，愛錫孩子外，也愛錫自己多一點吧！

露絲瑪莉的蘿蔔糕

媽媽露絲瑪莉每年都做蘿蔔糕給身邊的人，非常美味，是妹妹和我的至愛。由於我們的口味很清淡，這個蘿蔔糕食譜沒有臘肉，不過你可加入任何喜歡的材料。

材料
八斤蘿蔔

水5碗*
兩碗半粘米粉
兩碗半糯米粉

細冬菇大約15隻

蝦米一碗

元貝一碗

粘米粉一碗半

粟粉一碗半

調味料：鹽3茶匙、白胡椒適量、雞粉一茶匙

*本食譜以「碗」作單位，即飯碗。

製法

A. 預備材料：

1. 蘿蔔去皮砌條，放入兩湯匙糖，加入水煲大約15分鐘，或蘿蔔開始腍身為止。如果想蘿蔔糕口感綿密，可將蘿蔔刨絲。
2．將煲過蘿蔔糕的水倒出，留下一碗水備用。

3. 元貝先炸香，用吸油紙將油吸乾，再用刀面壓碎。備用。
4. 冬菇砌粒，用糖和豉油來醃泡10分鐘，炒香。備用。

B．拌入材料：
1. 將蝦米和元貝混入蘿蔔條，拌勻。

2. 加入粘米粉，拌勻。

3. 加入粟粉，拌勻。
4. 加入A2的水。

4. 加入調味料，拌勻。

C．蒸煮：

1. 開中火，不斷攪拌。直至煲底的材料開始結成一團，收火。

2. 預備錫紙，在盆底塗上花生油。
3. 將蘿蔔糕團放入錫紙盆， 壓平。然後鋪上冬菇，再壓平。

4. 煲滾水， 放入蘿蔔糕蒸一小時， 其間每15分鐘加滾水到鍋裏。

5. 完成囉！！

窩心的食物

2014年已過了幾天，身體仍有點不適，大部分時間都處於遊魂狀態，連續多天失眠。昨午終於抱著也有點傷風的弟弟，一起狠狠地睡到幾小時。

醒後像行屍走肉般，在家行來行去不知要自己想要甚麼，過一會才發覺很肚餓，很想吃點comfort food.

Comfort food，我會譯作窩心的食物，那是暖和身體和精神的美點。

從書櫃找來Rachel Khoo的小小巴黎廚房食譜，做了Croque Madame Muffins. 

Croque Madame Muffins不是甚麼深奧的法式料理，它只是芝士火腿三文治烘底（其法文名為Croque Monsieur)個friend。這點心做法很簡單，那像小禮帽的外層，其實是切了邊的白方包，順著muffin pan的形狀壓成。每個muffin內，我放了碎火腿，一只蛋，蛋上再放兩湯匙由牛奶，牛油，麪粉，豆蔻粉，胡椒，和鹽做成的白醬，再撒上一點芝士。焗20分鐘，6個Croque Madame Muffins便完成。我沒有加入食譜原有的芥茉醬，因為6個我吃不掉，一定要找細袁生們幫手，所以順應了他們的口味。如果想做到半生熟蛋，焗15分鐘已足夠。

整個製作過程大概45分鐘，用小焗爐也可做到。

吃下一個熱熱的小禮帽，身體暖和了，感覺好了一大半。

有興趣可看這youtube，參考Rachel Khoo在Little Paris Kitchen的示範。（我覺得她很可愛。）

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muRLOLmkEjc

幸運星

弟弟將入讀Lucas哥哥的小學，今天我們為弟弟到學校註冊，順便看哥哥小息。

小息一到，小朋友們四方八面衝到操場，其中一個是Luc先生。他見到我們的，但為了保持帥哥形象，看了我們一眼就走開了。為了配合他，我們只是淡然地跟他打個招呼，沒有瘋狂跟他揮手，或大叫他BB之類。用香港潮語來說，我們兩方都在chok型。

然後有一個一年級的小女孩走來跟我打招呼。她說她跟Luc先生是坐同一架校巴的。我問她校園生活如何，她說很開心。她眼鏡後那雙閃閃的眼睛，散發著孩子們獨有的純真與清澈，我跟她說她的眼睛很美，要好好保護一雙眼睛。她靦腆地說聲知道，然後送我這顆幸運星。

A burnt out soul

I am totally burnt out recently.  Being a mom is a really tough job.  The toughest part is you cannot take a break and you cannot quit.

I know I have no right to blame.  Being a mom is a bless, it is a very unique and precious experience, and it provides you the satisfaction that no paid job can give you. (In another way round, you will never be paid or promoted, have you ever heard the titles or Chief Domestic Engineer or Mothering Director?)

Nonetheless, sometimes I do wish I have a chance to take a long breathe.

Thanks god I am still interested in shopping and reading and piano and learning French, otherwise I have no doubt that I have depression.

勞氣

教孩子勞氣每天也發生，但近來的勞氣越來越厲害，連自己也覺自己煩厭。

我真是做得不好，我不懂如何做好媽媽。。。我做甚麼也不好。。。。。

弟弟，你改變了！

我和弟弟經過Giogio Armani,見到poster上的唇膏很美，問他我買一支好不好。想不到他竟然說「你唔好 嘥錢買嘢！」

哼！自從你說「我要賺好多錢，跟住變大人」那一天開始，你變了，你再不是從前的那個弟弟！

Humid days

The weather in HK isn't really good recently, humid, lack of sun, the temperature fluctuates between 23 to even up to 27 Degree Celsius, but I try my best to enjoy everyday.

I walked up the hill this morning.  Yes, the atmosphere filled with tiny water droplets, which make people's skin sticky, but I could still enjoy some cool breezes.  The haze enveloped the city last two days starts to diminish, birds sing loudly at tree crowns.

Lucas performed in a drama after school yesterday.  He had done very good job.  I am really proud of him.

Cookie memory

I dislike B.F. Skinner's behaviourism but recently I tried to apply this theory to real life.

Lucas had been preparing examination since last weekend.  He could handle the packed schedule but I  felt his stress and boredom.  Therefore I baked him some cookies, tried to associate some pleasant sensations with  his exam preparation.

Lucas even helped me out to mix all ingredients when he had a break.  Soon, a sweet aroma lingered our place, which immediately brought a broad grin across his face from ear to ear.

Very sweet!!

哥哥的造句

哥哥正做語文造句功課，心理不平衡的媽媽則以此為樂。

1。供詞造句： 跑步 ﹣ 

哥哥說：我在公園裏跑步。

媽說：悶得很，給我多點創意？

哥哥：。。。。。我在山上跑步。

媽：come on。。。多點想像力，你可以寫我在水底裏跑步啊，不要那麼呆板。

哥哥： （臉有難色，維持「我在山上跑步。」一句。）

2。擴張句子： 弟弟在家裏。（加入事件）

哥哥說：弟弟在家裏玩耍。

媽媽：我估計全班27個小朋友有24個寫這一句。

哥哥：我真的不懂。。。呀！ 弟弟在家裏踢球。

媽媽：給我一點誠意。。。。

哥哥： 弟弟在家裏開了一間檸檬汽水店。

媽媽：不錯！下次可以再瘋狂一點！

白頭髮

Lucas這星期考試，由Christmas 假期中段開始陪他溫書。常跟自己及身邊的人說不會太擔心，但這兩天發現自己多了白頭髮⋯⋯

有些事，騙不了人。

不過又話說回來，哥哥真是一個乖孩子，用功讀書。No pain no gain啊！

Melting heart

After the bedtime story, my baby boys said, 'I love you so much because you have a beautiful heart.' My heart officially melted....

The Hidden Gifts of the Introverted Child

Finally I have finished reading 'The Hidden Gifts of the Introverted Child', by Marti Olsen Lancy. I would like to recommend to parents who have an introvert child. It gave me solid knowledge of 'temperament' -- a person who tends to eit

her side of introversion or extroversion does not relate to his/her personality, but how the neurological system works. To make it short, it is hardwired and cannot be changed.

We had encountered many difficulties when my elder boy attended kindergarten, since he was an extreme introvert. Introverts are always misunderstood especially in schools because we live in an extroverted society. For example, kids around four to five should go through round and round of interviews if their parents want to send them to private schools. Children are also encouraged to attend interest class after class to beef up their 'portfolio'. If a child is shy and laid-back, they are labelled as incompetent, dreamy, etc. Obviously, such environment is not favourable to introvert children.

The middle part of the book tells readers the gifts an introvert would have. They are considerate, they love to learn things in-depth, they may not have many friends, but they treasure each of them. It also advises parents how to nurture guide an introvert kid to make them flourish.

We should celebrate the differences of each child instead of forcing them to conform to the shape of a mould.

A quiet quarter

Haven't received jobs since April, had also rejected a project because the price offered by an agency was ridiculously low.  The only works I had done were simply replying quotations and shot back a polite but nasty email to that unreasonable supplier.

Felt a bit insecure in the first two no-job months but now get used to it.  And guess what?  I feel great to be with my boys.  They are very demanding and sometimes just drive me to pull my hair, but it is also invaluable to witness how they grow, in both good or mischievous ways.

When I am exhausted and wanted to escape, I always remind myself how desperate I wanted to hug my babies and spent time with them when I was a working mom.  How dreadful the feeling was when the boys were not feeling well, but what I could do was to stick my ass on the seat in the office.  How regret I felt when my tired hubby drove all the way from N.T. to town to pick me up after work.

My life is getting better and better, I should remember that.

Non stop bread baking

Can you imagine I bake bread for my family almost everyday this week?

Glazed sweet bread rolls

They ate my bread during breakfast and snack, am still not tired with it.  

Jamie Oliver stated in a bread recipe that dough kneading is therapeutic.  I couldn't agree more!  You won't think much when you knead except focusing on that lovely dough.

See the creation I made!!  =)

Chocolate sweet bread rolls

家長這身份

老實說，我成為媽媽前從沒有當媽媽的憧憬。（不要誤會,我那兩個活寶貝是計劃生育的成果。）就因為這樣，成為人母後所經驗的每一件小事，我也覺得新奇得來有點古怪。

例如跟孩子們上親子班，好像抱著一舊小粉團唱歌跳舞，總覺得有禮貌的家長們暗地裏比試著孩子們的表現，覺得有點搞笑，但說不出為何搞笑。心裏又有點不安，想跟仔仔說這裏很不cool，媽媽想去飲杯alcoholic drink，你想一塊兒去嗎。。。

第一次參與parents’ day (一個讓家長們互想認識的gathering)，拿著盛滿即溶咖啡的紙杯，然後對著其他家長傻笑，跟著開始懷疑自己是否有社交恐懼症。。。

最有趣是哥哥上年九月開始要做功課。第一次見到那些手冊和回條上的家長簽名一欄，先大笑地說家長簽名這件事實在太retro，太老套了，定過神來，才猛然醒覺我就是那名要在虛線上簽名的老土家長！

Soft sweet bread roll

The boys were sick these two days.  They just had no appetite.  That's why I baked the sweet bread for them.

Linus helped me out to knead the dough, while Lucas was busy on drawing dinosaurs and sea reptiles. Linus made his own one which was stuffed with many chocolate chips.  However, he didn't take a bite at the end of the day.  In opposite, Lucas was the fan of my bread!

Daddy was late from work last night, he was surprised to see the bread when he arrived home.  They were freshly baked, the warmth and soft texture of the bread was the big indulgence to him after the long day.

The below is the recipe I used.  Just an additional note, to enhance the softness of the buns, I substitute all purpose flour to 2/3 bread flour and 1/3 cake flour

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/best-basic-sweet-bread/

甜品

我是一個對食不太有慾望的人，所以，對於食的要求也不是太高。總是覺得吃了下去能充饑便可以了，非常biological！（但是，如果食物下了大量味精，我會受不了。。。這，在香港，其實算不算要求高？）

有時，我見到妹及表妹興奮地談那裏有好吃甜品，我會呆在那兒，像從火星來的。我就是不明白她們為何如此興奮。

當我跟妹妹說我不喜歡吃甜品時，她嚇了一大跳。然後她問哪為何我常常弄甜品？當然是因為我喜歡的人愛吃罷。（如果你吃過我做的甜品，証明你是我的好朋友，如果還沒有，証明你是我的好朋友，但timing不合，日後有機會。不過，不能保証好味啊！）不過，每次做完一份甜品，我只會吃一點試味。

在Discovery Lifestyle and Living的烹飪節目，見到那些星級廚師，（尤其是法國藍帶那些，不是做份子料理那些），對食物有一種不能言喻的熱情。他們抱起一盆紅紅紫紫的雜莓會傻笑起來。當他們將食材處理，混合，烹調時，像在畫一幅色彩繽紛的油畫。就是這種passion，令他們成為一個出色的廚師。

我又想，我對吃沒有那種passion,我所煮出來的會完美，會感動到人嗎？