Life Stage

I had read my great friend Billie's diary about her life in age 20-25.
At that time, she hanged around with friends every night and indulged in drinking and clubbing. For her, as described by her friends, 'those were the great days.'

I do believe your life will be more interesting if you have a period totally belonged to yourself and did whatever you want, no matter it is a good or bad experience. After all, this is a chance to experience your life in different way.

My 'great' (or messy is the much more appropriate adjective in my case) days were in age 19-20. I had a lousy freshman year in University. I skipped lessons and went discos every weekend (I won't mention much here as I worry my daddy will read this diary), I felt ecstatic sometimes and totally in depression in another moment. Technically speaking, I was losing in a maze. Then one day, I woke up, I didn't want to be lousy anymore, I wanted a new life, then I tried to work hard again and altered my life style totally.

I still believed that it is worth to be a naughty person in one point in your life, just don't go too far. As you are getting older, you have more responsibilities; you do not afford to be naughty anymore.

For me, I think my life won't be that completed if I did not go through that period. In my childhood, my parents set lot of strict rules for me; I try to be a nice girl simply because I should follow their instruction. After those great days, now I try to be a nice and stable person because this is what I myself aiming at!!

Happy Hour

Last Friday Samantha, Chrisse and I managed to sneak away from the office at 5:45pm, we then had a drink at the spaghatti factory nearby. Three of us had a chat about our future career path.

Seems that all of us got an intention to quit the current job, each of us got our own reasons. After the discussion, I had a thoughtful retrospect of my career development.

To be frank, I guess I like the job nature of market research more than I supposed to be. I told the girls that I didn't dislike the field, but it didn't mean I love this job so much. However, when I think about which industry I should dive into in my next job, I just discover that I don't want to give up what I had learnt in market research.

It is similar to the situation that you learn the fundmental courses 1001 and 1002 for certain subject, you want to complete the whole module because only 1003 and 1004 had left. You know that after that you could be a qualified researcher with a handful of experience.

Well, the point is, if I love this industry, should I stay in the current firm or jump to another company? I just don't know!! Job changing can be very perplexing for a pregnant woman. Anyway, let's the fortune guides me.

Not yet burn out

Well, after the peak season in the last 2 months, I start to have a honeymoon period with less work to do.

I am in my cubicle and sinking into my chair. Today is happy Friday and now is about 5:00pm, I just don’t want to start any new job.

In this last trimester of the pregnancy, I have heart burn always. However, by comparing with other expectant mothers, I suffer lesser.

Well, but you really cannot feel good if you baby keeps kicking and pushing up your inner organs all the time.

The weather is getting warmer, hopefully the spring really arrives, I don’t want to wear those big coats and jackets anymore.

Social class

My company is going to launch a new training program - An 'elite' program called 'super breed'. Simply from its gorgeous name, you could tell that it is something about elitism, that means, not all staff would be selected for this program, but only for those whom the bosses believe they are much more outstanding than others. The elite group would receive an intensive training in three months, and then, according to what boss said, they would be totally transformed and reach the level of those researchers with 5-6 years of experience. Well, does it sound like a fairy tale or scientific fiction? A psycho scientist who invents some disgusting medicine and forces the subjects to drink and transforms them from normal human beings to super but abnormal living creatures.

Besides, it also means a new dimension of hierarchy will emerge - the grass-root class and the elite class amongst the young or junior research executives.

I haven't studied management before, but I truly believe this will lead to turmoil if they insist to launch this planning. The worst case is, those who haven't been chosen will feel they are unimportant to the company and leave, and those who have been picked cannot bear the much heavier pressure and workload after the training. Not to mention the 'social conflict' or 'social drama' between the groups that will be forseeable.

This is one of the silliest policies I have ever heard.

Women need girl friends!

Yesterday I had a great dinner with Jeff, my dearest sister Prudence and cousin Agnes. We kept talking and almost without any 'intermission'. We shared our recent lives and future goals.

Prudence is still embracing Jazz dancing, she is now a very great dancer. Agnes suggested her to hold classes for us after my baby delivery. I am sure this is an effective and funniest weight-control program.

Agnes is starting her bag business, she is not very serious about gaining money, in fact, bags and accessories design is one of her interests, so why don't share her masterpieces with others and trying to do business at the same time? Surely this is a great chance to gain experience in business field.

The coming adventure for me and Jeff is of course the arrival of the new life. We will be someone's parents, it is so miraculous!

Through the chit-chat with the girls, I realized that I feel less perplexing than the previous two months because now I have a clearer direction about my career development. They also gave me some advice.

It is so good to have these two greatest girl friends in my life!!!!! Thank you two sweeties.

Married to the job

Well, I am not a Literature person. I stopped reading the book 'Pride and Prejudice' on Page 23.

Then I started another book, which is much more interesting to me - "Married to the job" by Ilene Philipson. It is about the working phenomenon in U.S. in the last two decades. The fragmentation of social connection, the weakening of community bonding and the collapse of marriage institution urge U.S. people to invest all their efforts and emotion to another place, i.e. the working place. With the mainstream culture of consumerism, people dedicate to their career development and seek for the material success in order to get the approval from the society. They deny the importance of family bonding and the interdependence of each other. In fact, they believe a 'normal' adult should be totally independent and work very hard on their jobs. However, once people feel the companies betray and do not care them, or cannot get what they expect to receive from the jobs, some will totally breakdown and suppose they lose everything, because they have no other things to anchor.

I have a strong empathy to most case studies in the book because I had been totally dedicated to my job before. Luckily I broke up with the job before I get married to it. When I was in my previous job, I scheduled my wedding based on the time-line of my work, and I forced myself to be excel in my work, I worked harder than other colleagues, as I wanted to be important to the company. Well, one day, after I got married, I discovered that I was actually no body to my ex-boss simply because I was not no longer a single woman, he assumed that I would be economic dependent to my husband and did not have to work hard anymore. His prejudice and discrimination towards married women was not the main point of this experience. In fact, I realized that I was extremely silly to over-invest in my job.

Now I know, outside the job, there are much more things worth me to spend time with, and to take care of, such as my family, my friends, my community and even this planet, I should not force myself to focus on career only, despite that it is undeniably an important part of my life.

I would like to share several paragraphs with you from the book:
'Freedom can only exist in a context of security. And without feeling secure, institutionally anchored, connected, and attended to, we seems all too ready to shackle ourselves to the workplace.' (Pg. 227)

'Many of us have come to avoid, perhaps even to fear, leisure. For some, having free time has become a sign of professional inadequacy.' (Pg. 233)

'Perhaps finding ways of connecting with, committing to, and caring about each others is the highest goal to which we can aspire, both as individuals and as a society. Certainly, living to work not only stymies this goal but prevents us from asking ourselves how life should be lived and to whom we matter.' (Pg. 235)

After all, we go back to the very basic and universal philosophical question, 'What is the meaning of life?'

Baggy craze

My cousin Agnes has made some bags with adorable designs, please feel free to visit the below link for more information: http://spaces.msn.com/familiarcorner/

The bags are made by very fine fabic with delicate details, which are great to go with casual wear or gorgeous outfits. She accepts orders now. If you have interest in any of them, you could contact her by familiar.corner@hotmail.com.

For me, I am going to buy the 'Vintage Sash Tote' and 'Vintage Tank Tote'.

What will be will be

When I was young, I dreamt that I could be an artist after I had grown up. An artist doesn't mean those light-weight celebrities in HK, instead, I hope that I could be an very artistic person and live as a painter, novelist, or dancer, etc. At that moment, I believed I would be proud of my career if I participate in the art field.

Well, this has not happened and I am now engaged in the business field, there is the great distance between market research and art, and so far I also don't feel proud of my cutrrent job.

So anyone please tell me if I am gifted and talented or not... and what is my talent? Is it a good idea the link my talents (or interest) to my career??

A busy week

Last week was really exhaustive for me.

Countless of works and ad hoc tasks adding to the agenda in the early week, then I had an internal presentation on Thursday. I've done the rehearsal three times before head, on Sunday, Monday and Wednesday, right before I went bed at mid-night.

Thursday night, Jeff wanted to celebrate with me because I had finish this big task, but lots of unexpected things came up and I had to prepare the annual dinner performance in the next time. I worked until 10:45pm.

Jeff was really frustrated when he travelled from Kowloon Tong to North Point to grab me out of the office. Indeed, he considered if I should quit this job once our baby comes to the world. I also felt really sorry about it.

That night, I could not fall asleep, not even 30 minutes.

On Friday, we had the annual dinner at night. During the day time, I had to do the 'rehearsal' of the performance with Jelly (We formed a team for the 'show'), on top of that, I supposed to finish lots of stuff but could not make it. It was because I was too exhausted, and we had another long company meeting after lunch, then I should go ahead to help the setting around 6pm for the night event with my colleagues.

In order to maintain the really good and natural high mood, I spent the total amount of energy which exceeded the quota, I had not experienced such kind of 'un-recovered' exhaust for a very long time... Luckily, I do feel we all made a good show that night, our effort had not wasted.

On Saturday, we scheduled to moved back to our parent-in-law' house. Luckily Jeff did most of the packaging. I woke up at 7am and rushed to finish my part. The lorry and workers came by 8:30am to pick up all the boxes.

As I am pregnant, Jeff asked me not to stay at the flat, so I went to Pacific Coffee to have a real big breakfast. Poorly I forgot the ask the staff to reheat the sandwich, I just discovered that it was cold after the first bite....

When I sat in the cafe, I almost fell asleep again.

After I went back to parent's home, I literally searched for an empty bed and then dived myself into it and became unconscious for quite a long time.

Well, Sunday, was also living in unpacking, sorting, arranging, falling asleep and eating.

I supposed that last week was the most busiest week, but this week, well.... Today I just know that tonnes of works are already waiting for me. Oh Jesus, when can I have a break?