Rebirth

I just feel very well.

Linus's arrival totally changed my life. I mean, right before and after the delivery, the pain transforms me to a new person, I become more confident and determined.

I should say thanks to my obstetrician, she guided me through those critical days, and finally, she helped me to deliver a healthy premature baby. When she knew Linus is healthy enough to get back home, she was genuinely happy and clapped hands.

Did I tell you that there was literally a roomful of people in delivery room, when I was giving birth? Which included Jeff, my obstetrician, two midwives, several nurses, and a pediatrician. The key reason is related specialists should stand by in case baby is in difficult situation. However, another major reason is, it was not peak hour and some nurses were interested to see natural delivery, as most moms-to-be decided to go for C-section recently.

So when I used my last strength to push the baby out, I heard the big applause from 'audience' came along with baby cries, seems that I really had done a good show.

Linus is at home now and having a sound sleep.

Jeff keeps me company always, including all those mid-night feedings. Both of us are extremely tired but happy, simply because Linus is getting stronger and stronger.

It is unavoidable that I am weepy and feel down in some moments - baby blue is perfectly normal during postpartum period, but most of the time, I feel great.

My mother is impressed when she knows I bath Linus by myself. I am proud of myself too - Linus is so tiny and slippery but so far I manage it.

I know I can be a good mother!!